Oh, dear, it is with slight reluctance and southern gentility that I fling this political turd into the holiday punch. Mitt Romney, the nimble chameleon in magical underwear, has joined President Bush and Meryl Streep in exhibiting an uncanny ability to cry on cue when cameras are present. The dashing Mormon Mannequin wept for the press over the thought of one of his sons dying in Iraq.
Such sentimental guesswork is tantamount to Barbara Bush blushing over the thought of being a hot porn star. But that’s the fabulous thing about facile conjecture over the impossible: You can pretend something affects you personally simply because you have a wild imagination! This agile technique in sophistic sympathy allows both President Bush and Mitt Romney to safely shed Oprah tears for an audience over the thought of someone else’s child dying in a war they support without ever worrying about the fact of Jenna, Barbara, Ben, Craig, Josh, Matt and Tagg dying in that same war. And, truly, sad thoughts are so, well, sad, aren’t they? Indeed, I often cry at the thought of being a penniless Darfur tribeswoman every time I slap down a Black AMEX card at Neiman Marcus. So sad, isn’t it? Why, I think I’m crying as I type! Aren’t I so terribly, terribly thoughtful? Just like Mitt!
I really don't like to do these posts--they aren't what this blog is about--but like Mitt, ( a handsome bastard and worthy of an airport being named after I am sure) I think it's important to understand Romney as a person of faith, particularly since his faith is bound to affect his presidential decision making. I feel like I must comment on Mitt's confession that he wept when he heard that Blacks had finally been given the priesthood, an honor that had been given to every 12 year old white boy since the Church came into being. I'm sure Mitt hopes that we'll all believe he cried because he was happy that an injustice had been righted, and I think many people will be fooled. But the truth is Mitt, as a true believer, would not have thought it was an injustice.
Such sentimental guesswork is tantamount to Barbara Bush blushing over the thought of being a hot porn star. But that’s the fabulous thing about facile conjecture over the impossible: You can pretend something affects you personally simply because you have a wild imagination! This agile technique in sophistic sympathy allows both President Bush and Mitt Romney to safely shed Oprah tears for an audience over the thought of someone else’s child dying in a war they support without ever worrying about the fact of Jenna, Barbara, Ben, Craig, Josh, Matt and Tagg dying in that same war. And, truly, sad thoughts are so, well, sad, aren’t they? Indeed, I often cry at the thought of being a penniless Darfur tribeswoman every time I slap down a Black AMEX card at Neiman Marcus. So sad, isn’t it? Why, I think I’m crying as I type! Aren’t I so terribly, terribly thoughtful? Just like Mitt!
I really don't like to do these posts--they aren't what this blog is about--but like Mitt, ( a handsome bastard and worthy of an airport being named after I am sure) I think it's important to understand Romney as a person of faith, particularly since his faith is bound to affect his presidential decision making. I feel like I must comment on Mitt's confession that he wept when he heard that Blacks had finally been given the priesthood, an honor that had been given to every 12 year old white boy since the Church came into being. I'm sure Mitt hopes that we'll all believe he cried because he was happy that an injustice had been righted, and I think many people will be fooled. But the truth is Mitt, as a true believer, would not have thought it was an injustice.
"And I beheld, after they had dwindled in unbelief they became a dark and loathsome and a filthy people, full of idleness and all manner of abominations."
Mormon doctrine holds that in the last days, God would lift the curse He levied against Blacks for being indecisive in the heavenly war between Jesus and Lucifer and allow them to hold the priesthood.
The Book of Mormon as translated by Joseph Smith — using the Urim and the Thummim to allow him to understand the Reformed Egyptian Hieroglyphics the book is written in — and which explains that black men and women became black because they fell away from God and thus carried the mark of Cain.
This belief prevented blacks from joining the LDS Church until 1978 when the church finally opened its doors to them in response to a threat by the federal government to revoke the church's not for profit status.
"Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African race? If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot. This will always be so."
-Brigham Young — Second Mormon Prophet.
This Mormon tenet has never been repealed because it actually forms the very basis of one of the most important scriptural beliefs of Mormonism. And that is that the curse of Cain upon the black man will be lifted only through revelation from God to the Prophet and only then to mark the advent of the second coming of Christ.
Additionally, readers should realise that when a prophet of the church speaks his word carries the same authority as God speaking.
Additionally, readers should realise that when a prophet of the church speaks his word carries the same authority as God speaking.
Mitt Romney has referred to Mormonism as "The Faith of My Fathers" and has claimed that his religion informs who he is as a person and that he believes the bible to be the literal word of God.
In 1978, and just before the then LDS Prophet Spencer Kimball said that God had told him to allow blacks into the church, Mitt Romney was 31 years old and a priest of the LDS church — as most observant Mormon males over the age of 12 are.
In 1978, and just before the then LDS Prophet Spencer Kimball said that God had told him to allow blacks into the church, Mitt Romney was 31 years old and a priest of the LDS church — as most observant Mormon males over the age of 12 are.
Soooooooo, it seems to me that Mitt has a whole lot of 'splainin to do about what his beliefs were pre-1978 concerning black people and what his beliefs are now. And why they have changed if indeed they have.
Did he believe then that blacks were "filthy people, full of idleness and all manner of abominations" and if not why not, and if not why then did he allow himself to become a priest of the church as he still is to this day?
It would seem to me that if you enter into a priesthood you should know the tenets of your faith and subscribe to them. If not then you are a heretic.
In light of Romney's recent claims that it is his faith that informs who he is as a person and that he believes that the bible — and Book of Mormon — is the literal word of God I think that heresy was and is out of the question for Mitt and therefore it is wholly appropriate that he be asked these questions concerning his faith and its relationship to blacks.
And please, lets be clear on this; this is not ancient history nor is it, as Romney supporters and Mormons in general would have us all believe, the same as other Christian denominations that once supported slavery.
Mitt Romney was a 31 year old adult male and member of either the Aaronic, Patriarchal or Michilzedek Priesthood of the LDS Church at the time that blacks were finally admitted as members. Prior to that blacks were excluded because they were deemed to be a "loathsome and filthy people."
So, prior to 1978 did Romney, as a priest of the church, agree with his church's position concerning blacks and if not why not? And if not how then could he, in good conscience, continue as a Mormon priest? A priest who to this day claims that his faith informs who he is as a person and whose bible, he states, is the literal and infallible word of God?
Did he believe then that blacks were "filthy people, full of idleness and all manner of abominations" and if not why not, and if not why then did he allow himself to become a priest of the church as he still is to this day?
It would seem to me that if you enter into a priesthood you should know the tenets of your faith and subscribe to them. If not then you are a heretic.
In light of Romney's recent claims that it is his faith that informs who he is as a person and that he believes that the bible — and Book of Mormon — is the literal word of God I think that heresy was and is out of the question for Mitt and therefore it is wholly appropriate that he be asked these questions concerning his faith and its relationship to blacks.
And please, lets be clear on this; this is not ancient history nor is it, as Romney supporters and Mormons in general would have us all believe, the same as other Christian denominations that once supported slavery.
Mitt Romney was a 31 year old adult male and member of either the Aaronic, Patriarchal or Michilzedek Priesthood of the LDS Church at the time that blacks were finally admitted as members. Prior to that blacks were excluded because they were deemed to be a "loathsome and filthy people."
So, prior to 1978 did Romney, as a priest of the church, agree with his church's position concerning blacks and if not why not? And if not how then could he, in good conscience, continue as a Mormon priest? A priest who to this day claims that his faith informs who he is as a person and whose bible, he states, is the literal and infallible word of God?
I am certain that Mitt cried, if indeed he did cry, for the same reason. As a true believer, he would not, could not, believe that the denial of the priesthood to Blacks had been wrong up unto that point. To do so would have meant questioning God, because the ban was scriptural in origin. It's found in The Pearl of Great Price (Abr. 1 21-27), one of the four "standard works" of Mormonism (The others being The Book of Mormon, The Doctrine and Covenants and The Bible.)
All this gives me a lot to think about during the next election.
Dame Edna said it best, "Knowledge and big jewelry are power possums!"
Here is a nice holiday punch to keep those winter blues at bay-
Holiday Political Shambles!
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32 oz vodka
48 oz Red Bull energy drink
two bottles champagne or sparkling white wine
Pour the vodka, Red Bull and sparkling wine into a pitcher or punch bowl 1/3 filled with ice.
Floating turd optional.
Serve in nice glasses for a change. It is bloody Christmas you know.
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