Sunday, May 4, 2008

my little pony

I love horses, always have- I always say if you can find a man that resembles a horse, he is a keeper. Don't you adore the smell of a horse on a summer day? You know, it has that certain something - like puppy breath. **sigh**
Kids LOVE horses, I guess that is what has made "My little Pony" such a success.
I have a fav "My Little Pony" his name is Edward Scissorhooves, I even had a few real live show horses as a wee Cornichon, I was extra keen on one named "Miss Kitty Peaches" she looked just like a Persian cat, and Loved caviar-...But Good God. I am worked up about the Derby.... Just moments after finishing 2nd at the Kentucky Derby, a filly named Eight Belles (The only female horse in the 20-horse race) broke both of her front ankles while pulling up, collapsed on the track, and was euthanized on the spot.
Did NBC make anything but a cursory mention? No.

(Over on the NY Times' "Rail" blog, commenters are somewhat-gleefully discussing the "symbolism" of the race with regards to the Democratic presidential nomination; Hillary Clinton, you see, had her money on the fallen filly.) You really have to wonder about a "sport" in which thousands of majestic creatures are cruelly-bred, overtrained and raced to the point of mortal injury. And all for ego-inflation of a few wealthy owners, the amusement of millions, and, of course, the profiteering of both.

With the Kentucky Derby happening this weekend, one of the fun things to always do is look at the names of the racehorses.

They're usually ridiculous.

This year's favorite is Big Brown, which could be a euphemism for a number of things, like say what the horse left in the back of his stall before going out to race. Or it could mean absolutely nothing.The more interesting thing though is that every racehorse name has to go through The Jockey Club - based in New York and Kentucky - for approval. Generally speaking they try to reject offensive, suggestive, or obscene names. So if Big Brown was named Big Brown Deuce, his name would probably get rejected. But here's the fun thing, they don't always reject everything. So here's a look back at real racehorse names that were actually signed off by The Jockey Club. So you know, not all of these names below will appear in the current registry, because the registry lists primarily recent names. If you want a full perspective, you'll need to shell out $325 for the complete American Produce Records to see everything the Registry has approved. Anyway, most of these names are dirty, while a few others are drug related or just strange. Lord only knows how some of these names were approved.

Cum Rocket (1969)

Nut Buster (1942)

No Fat Chicks (1988)

Blow Me (1945)

Girls On Top (2004)

Get It On (both 1971 and 1986)

On Your Knees (1977 and 2005)

Spank It (1985)

Go Down (1963), whose sire was Service Jail Bait (1947 and 1983)

Alcohol Related (2000)

Jagnauf (1978)

Barely Legal (1982 and 1989)

Date More Minors (1998)

Golden Shower (1955) Pleasure Me (2000)

She Can't Say No (1989)

Totally Toasted (2004)

Cherry Pop (1961 and 1978)

Ménage Á Trois (1974)

She's Easy (1978)

Strip Teaser (1980)

Rhythm Method (1982)

Bodacious Tatas (1985)


Tit'n Your Girdle (1988)

Kinky Lingerie (1991)

Hard Like a Rock (1995)

Sexual Harassment (1997)

X Rated Fantasy (1999)

Hardawn (1937)

Wrecked Em (1983)

Galore (1965)

Cunning Stunt (1969)

Well now, I am off to have Mint Juleps in the Moonlight under the Magnolias for a few weeks....
A toast to our fallen filly!

2 oz Kentucky Gentleman® bourbon whiskey

1 oz Amaretto Di Saronno® liqueur

1 oz Frangelico® hazelnut liqueur

Top with Coca-Cola®
Mix the bourbon, amaretto, and hazelnut liqueur into a tall glass and top off with the soda. Serve.


Yvonne said...

I love Edward Scissorhooves! Want.

funbaybear said...

At first I was really digg'n your blog until I came across the blasphemous sections and how you blatently disrespected the Jesus' pasion.
While you may have freedom of speech, you should not disrespect the beliefs which many hold sacred.

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