Monday, February 16, 2009

Delectatio morosa

Over the Valentine's weekend your dear le Cornichon hosted a the post parade pre-bal masque soiree, Using the coincidence of the day being the one after St Valentine's day the idea was that it would be a great opportunity for those persons to gather who despise the holiday in which we are forced by Hallmark, chocolatiers and florists to spend some cash to "prove" our love to those we generally barely tolerate the rest of the year, "...for cocktails and post Saint Valentine's Day Lamentations and Vitriolic Ruminations..."
As Mardi Gras festivities were just getting into full swing, I decided that the party would be right after the "Barkus" parade and before the Satyricon Bal Masque that is always a absolute must go each year during the Mardi Gras season. but more on that later.
The costuming ranged from people dressed as their pets- (people who were coming from the Barkus parade, an all dog parade through the quarter) to serious ball gowns and jewelry and Victorian Mourning Costumes. My kind of crowd.
The day was beautiful sunny one and all of new Orleans seemed to be in a trance of pure ecstasy.
I will tell you more about the Satyricon ball a little later but for now, here are a few ideas tossed about and some things I casually overheard from conversations by my dear guests:

"I go through at least three lollipops a week on Facebook..."

"Your Casaquin: Are you talking about the light weight variation of the petenlair or the house your parents live in?"

"Drunks are like Slinky's- they are so much more fun when you push them down the stairs..."

"What at first blush seems a ridiculously cruel act, in hindsight, the decision on the part of the Farmer's wife to cut the tails off of the three blind mice now seems the best possible recourse given their particular malady."

"So my latest project is an all dog opera, it's called 'Corgi and Bess...."

"Saint Joseph Almond ice cream from Broccato's in New Orleans is the ice cream equivalent of bathing in the light of God while suckling an angels teat."

"When "Beth", the perky, pink-suited ambassador from the far away land of Corporate Headquarters-- where lo, the streets are paved with glowing letters of recommendation and business-class e Tickets, and Blackberry Handhelds frolic in the wild, texting shouts of glee-- Blahnik'ed her way-over to my work area to slap company inventory stickers on both my Target-bought Emerson stereo and my stapler, I barely glanced up from cleaning my nails with a paperclip..."

Humanity is falling in a downward spiral towards a cesspool of ignorance and simplicity. (Note to self: Bring your floaties)

"Shaving the shaft"- missed memo?

My look is apparently "Understated spookiness with a touch of whimsy, tempered with a bit of American nouvelle vague Vreeland-er voracity"

"So, yeah. I am like the boss in our relationship. I mean, like, someone has to be the alfalfa dog..."

"I asked for a "Kiss" poster in 1974 and got the wrong one. I didn't want the band poster, I wanted a print of the painting, you know the one—the Gustav Klimt masterpiece depicting a couple sharing a kiss against a bronze background. So fucking badass..."

When contemplating the myth of time, the theory of relativity and the spacetime continuum, (with a big bowl of fruit) use a peach to represent the Lorentz covariance...

"If this were the 70's, you'd be eating Vanilla Figurines and I'd be setting up the slide projector..."

"I meant to say 'Skewed View' not 'Stewed View..."

" No one is surprised that Underdog can talk. Because it's a cartoon. They are anthropomorphic talking animals. No one is surprised by this."

"He gave his wife a subscription to Wirtschaftswoche, a Lutheran-affiliated German business weekly, for Valentine's day, he called me later in the day to ask if I had a bag of frozen peas...

"Why is there a Haz-mat truck outside with liveried footmen?"

The Madness continued until it was time to go to the Satyricon Bal Masque- Our method of arrival was quite dramatic....

Chocolate Ravage
One glass of Chocolate Ravage will knock you down. You can find the Pop-Ice at store called "Walmart" in the juice isle in a cardboard box for about $2. Chocolate Ravage has a chocolaty taste (due to Yoo-hoo chocolate milk) so your guests are sure to love it.

16 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz Captain Morgan® Original spiced rum
1 1/2 oz Captain Morgan® Parrot Bay coconut rum
1 1/2 oz triple sec
1 sheet Pop-Ice®
15 oz bottle Yoo-hoo® chocolate milk
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup honey
Add ice to a blender until roughly one-quarter to one-third full. Add one sheet worth of pop ice to the blender. Add the vodka, Captain Morgan rums, triple sec, sugar and honey. Adjust sugar and honey to taste if desired. Add one tall yoo-hoo bottle to the blender. Blend until puree consistancy, pour into cocktail glasses and serve.

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zeitgeist, particular friend, perky libertine, animated trickster, iconoclast, rabble-rouser, object of worship, provocateur, capricious damp enchantress, idiosyncratic beloved reptile, whimsical saucy booze hound, bellwether, luminary, stoic, pensive illicit paramour, aloof, engaged, intuitive, curious, perplexing deranged mastermind, passionate, lasciviously adored offspring, amorous, sultry flamboyant charioteer, scholar, scribe, exalted thespian, voracious, considerable chieftain, impaired, cynical colleague, dreamer, procrastinator, loathsome glutton, artist, oppressed peasant, dainty heathen, narcissist, self-loathing...renaissance man