Thursday, April 30, 2009


First the bad news- We feel the term "Swine Flu" has an unfortunate ring to it.
The good news is we have come up with a much more poetic term, or terms as it were, for the pandemic- "Aporkalypse" "Epigdemic," "Hogsteria," "Armhogeddon," "Cochonrantine" and "Pigpendemic" are nice but I think "Swine-11" is the best so far... "World boar III" sounds a bit like an aristocratic English title. Peerage, hrumph.
I do however forsee the demise of "Pig-tails" as being an acceptable hair style as well as a decline in the number of Wendy's Bacon Cheeseburgers sold.
Also good news is the fact that I have successfully completed a new years resolution of mine:
Words I Vowed To Use More Often In 2009 And Have Thus Far Done So Within The First 100 Days

areola, Bananarama bandolier bukkake cajole castrato chassis chuff churlish churro cockles cocksure codswallop coquettish cowpoke crantastic or crunchtastic cryptkeeper decoupage derriƩre doppelganger doubloon elfin flagellate fluegelhorn fortnight gelatinous gordito gunt haberdasher hirsute hunchback intergalactic jackanapes Jewess kismet ladyboy merman mustachioed muttonhead oligarchy ombudsman ornery pansexual pantaloon pantied papacy perineum phrenologist pliƩ plucky plumage pubis pugilist purloin rapier Sasquatchian scalawag schadenfreude scrimshaw scrod scrota scurvy shantytown shewolf skullduggery soothsayer sousaphone Stallonesque succubus swashbuckle taquito teetotaler titular unitard vagician vampirical whoremonger

Aren't those nice? Hmmm? I am sure you have made good on your new years resolutions, yes? No? Oh... well who cares? lets have a drink...
Swine Flew
3 oz gin
3 oz Midori® melon liqueur
3 oz Smirnoff® Vanilla Twist vodka
6 oz Dr. Pepper soda
Mix and drink, after six or seven of these, its guaranteed you will experience flu like symptoms the following morning and / or afternoon.

1 comment:

Pom said...

Classic! What else can I say?

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zeitgeist, particular friend, perky libertine, animated trickster, iconoclast, rabble-rouser, object of worship, provocateur, capricious damp enchantress, idiosyncratic beloved reptile, whimsical saucy booze hound, bellwether, luminary, stoic, pensive illicit paramour, aloof, engaged, intuitive, curious, perplexing deranged mastermind, passionate, lasciviously adored offspring, amorous, sultry flamboyant charioteer, scholar, scribe, exalted thespian, voracious, considerable chieftain, impaired, cynical colleague, dreamer, procrastinator, loathsome glutton, artist, oppressed peasant, dainty heathen, narcissist, self-loathing...renaissance man