King Urinal

A few barbs from the Bard to temper a sleepy Spring afternoon.....

You Banbury cheese.~Merry Wives of Windsor

What hempen homespun have we swaggering here?~A Midsummer Night's Dream
Vile worm, you were overlooked even in thy birth.~The Merry Wives of Windsor
Teeth hadst thou in thy head when thou wast born to signify thou came to bite the world.~Henry VI Part 3
I had rather be married to a deaths head with a bone in his mouth.~Merchant of Venice

You egg, you fry of treachery.~Macbeth

King Urinal.... ~Merry Wives of Windsor

He's a disease that must be cut away.~Coriolanus

An index and obscure prologue to the history of lust and foul thoughts.~Othello
If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.~The Two Gentlemen of Verona
A huge translation of hypocrisy, vilely compiled, profound simplicity.~Love's Labour Lost
You should be women and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so.~Macbeth

Thou didst drink the stale of horses and the guilded puddle which beasts would cough at.~Antony and Cleopatra
Boils and plagues plaster you over, that you may be abhorred farther than seen and one infect another against the wind a mile. You souls of geese that bear the shapes of men.~Coriolanus
In their thick breaths, rank of gross diet, shall be enclouded, and forc'd to drink their vapour.~Antony and Cleopatra
Your beards deserve not so honourable a grave as to stuff a botcher's cushion or to be entombed in as ass's pack saddle.~Coriolanus
The terror of the French, the scarecrow that affrights our children so.~Henry VI Part 1
More of your conversation would infect my brain.~Coriolanus
She's the kitchen wench, and all grease ; and I know not what use to put her but to make a lamp of her and run her from her own light. I warrant, her rags and the tallow in them will burn a Poland winter. If she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world.~The Comedy of Errors
Her complexion is like Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept, for why, she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it. ~The Comedy of Errors

His kisses are Judas's own children.~As You Like It
You lisp and wear strange suits.~As You Like It

He's a disease that must be cut away.~Coriolanus

Where will thou find a cavern dark enough to mask thy monstrous visage. Your purpled hands do reek and smoke. You showed your teeth like apes, and fawned like hounds and bowed like bondmen. I do find it cowardly and vile.~Julius Caesar
You are the must chaff, and you are smelt above the moon.~Coriolanus
The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes, when he walks he moves like an engine and the ground shrinks before his treading.~Coriolanus

It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.~Macbeth
He hath out-villiain'd villainy so far that the rarity redeems him.~All's Well that Ends Well
And in his brain which is as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage, he hath strange places.~As You Like It

Say wall eyed slave, whither wouldst thou convey this growing image of thy fiend like face.~Titus Andronicus

All that is within him does condemn itself for being there.~Macbeth
Thy bones are hollow, impiety has made a feast of thee.~Measure for Measure
False of heart, light of ear, bloody of hand, hog in sloth, fox in stealth, wolf in greediness, dog in madness, lion in prey.~King Lear

He that depends upon your favours swims with fins of lead, and hews down oaks with rushes.~Coriolanus
Toads, beetles, bats, light on you.~The Tempest
A monster, a very monster in apparel.~The Taming of the Shrew
Where will thou find a cavern dark enough to mask thy monstrous visage.~Julius Caesa
Not shaped for sportive tricks, nor made to court an amorous looking glass.~Richard III
You have such a February face, so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness.~Much Ado About Nothing

Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.~King Lear
I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee somthing.~Timon of Athens

Cheers.

Lady Macbeth

1/2 oz vodka

1/2 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur

1/2 oz amaretto almond liqueur

1/2 oz triple sec

1/2 oz sloe gin

1/2 oz lime juice

orange juice

Pour all ingredients (except orange juice) into an ice-filled collins glass. Fill with orange juice, and serve.